吵架也是能力？聪明的家长，会和孩子越吵越亲密
<div style="max-width:677px !important;"><section style="display: none;" data-tools="新媒体管家" data-label="powered by xmt.cn" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io"><br></section><section style="font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;"><section style="display: none;" data-tools="新媒体管家" data-label="powered by xmt.cn"><br></section></section><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com"><section powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>世界上有从没和孩子吵架的父母吗？</strong></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">这显然是一道“送分题”。<br></span></p><p style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></p></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 60%;height: auto;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">提到“争吵”，许多家长都会眉头一锁、神色紧张。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="text-indent: 2em;font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">毕竟，我们隔三差五就能在新闻中看到孩子和家长争吵后负气离家，甚至采取极端行为的案例。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span><span style="text-indent: 0em;text-align: justify;"></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">历史的经验告诉我们，争吵总会进一步激化亲子关系中原本就存在的、长久积累的矛盾。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">但尽管如此，<span style="text-indent: 2em;">争吵却并不完全是一件坏事，也不意味着我们是失败的父母。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 25px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);">问题的关键在于，你“擅长”跟孩子吵架吗？</span></strong></span></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0% 5px;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 8 8 0%;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;height: auto;line-height: 1;margin-right: -17px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(181, 150, 238);overflow: hidden;flex: 0 0 auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;height: auto;z-index: 1;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: -10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size: 41px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;text-shadow: rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px 1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px 1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px -1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px 1px;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><em><strong>01</strong></em></span></p></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 8 8 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;margin-left: -16px;line-height: 1;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;margin-bottom: 10px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;margin-bottom: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>我们得重新认识吵架这件事</strong></span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 15px;"><br></p></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">相信不少父母都听过这么一句话：<strong>“父母的情绪，决定孩子的未来。”</strong>意思是，父母如果情绪不好，就会影响到孩子，而情绪好的父母，则更有利于孩子心理健康的发展。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">其实，道理大家都明白，可实践起来却很难做到。毕竟，父母也是有血有肉的人，不是无欲无求的神，是人就有自己的情绪。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="text-indent: 2em;font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">心平气和的时候，跟孩子说话还能控制住脾气，慢慢引导，但事情太多太乱、生活不堪重负的时候，跟孩子吵架、语气强硬一点也是再正常不过的事情。<br></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 25px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">比起高喊着口号，让父母“温柔而坚定”，“坚持循循善诱”跟孩子讲道理谈感受，我们需要重新认识跟孩子吵架这件事。</span></p></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0% 5px;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 8 8 0%;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;height: auto;line-height: 1;margin-right: -17px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(181, 150, 238);overflow: hidden;flex: 0 0 auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;height: auto;z-index: 1;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: -10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size: 41px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;text-shadow: rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px 1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px 1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px -1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px 1px;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><em><strong>02</strong></em></span></p></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 8 8 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;margin-left: -16px;line-height: 1;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;letter-spacing: 2px;line-height: 1.8;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>我们害怕的，不是吵架</strong></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>而是不好好吵架</strong></span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 15px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">心理学上将吵架分为两种：</span></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="letter-spacing: 1px;line-height: 2;padding-right: 16px;padding-left: 16px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 100%;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 6px;border-style: solid;border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);padding: 10px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="color: rgb(117, 117, 117);padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">一种是<span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><strong>破坏性的争吵</strong></span>，是指那些伤害感情，隔断联结的争吵。这种争吵对于亲子关系的破坏是根本性的，甚至，是无法缝合的。</span></p><br><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">另一种则是<strong><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);">建设性的争吵</span></strong>，是指那些在争吵中彼此知晓、达成共识，并且通过争吵达到情感上的重新融合。这种争吵是一种良性的争吵。</span></p></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>良性的争吵，能够缓解情绪，释放负面情绪，让亲子关系，越吵越亲密。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">我们真正害怕的，其实不是吵架，而是不好好吵架。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>不好的争吵，像一把最尖锐的刀子，割得人遍体鳞伤，痛彻心扉。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px 25px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0% 5px;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 8 8 0%;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;height: auto;line-height: 1;margin-right: -17px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(181, 150, 238);overflow: hidden;flex: 0 0 auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;height: auto;z-index: 1;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: -10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size: 41px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;text-shadow: rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px 1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px 1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px -1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px 1px;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><em><strong>03</strong></em></span></p></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 8 8 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;margin-left: -16px;line-height: 1;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;line-height: 2;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>吵架时</strong></span></section><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>孩子会如何对抗我们？</strong></span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 15px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">我们再回想一下，我们为什么跟孩子吵架。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">大多数的时候，我们跟孩子吵架不是“鸡蛋里挑骨头”，而是希望孩子能够改正自己不当的行为，成为一个更加优秀、将来更能适应社会的人。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">出发点是好的，但可能孩子并不能完全接收到我们的想法。他们会用各种各样的方式“反抗”父母，而这些应对方式，<strong><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);">恰好展示了孩子真实的“自我”，同时也映射了父母容易忽视的另一面。</span></strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="text-align: left;justify-content: flex-start;margin: 10px 0%;display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="text-align: right;justify-content: flex-end;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 22px;height: 22px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;align-self: flex-end;"><section style="text-align: justify;color: rgb(127, 127, 127);font-size: 18px;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong> 指责方式 </strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="justify-content: flex-start;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 15px;height: 15px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">“家长说一句，孩子顶十句。”是很多家长都非常头疼的事情。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 100%;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 6px;border-style: solid;border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);padding: 10px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 15px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 1.8;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 儿子，今天冷，多穿件衣服。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 我不冷，不穿。</span></p></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 15px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 1.8;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 少玩点手机，对眼睛不好。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 我自己的眼睛我自己管，不用你管。</span></p></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 1.8;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 赶紧写作业，别看电视了。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 你怎么知道我作业没写完？</span></p></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">有这种反应的孩子往往带着对父母<strong>“抗拒”的心理</strong>，不管父母是不是出于好意，是不是言之有理，孩子的第一反应都是不耐烦和愤怒。<br></span></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="text-align: left;justify-content: flex-start;margin: 10px 0%;display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="text-align: right;justify-content: flex-end;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 22px;height: 22px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;align-self: flex-end;"><section style="text-align: justify;color: rgb(127, 127, 127);font-size: 18px;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong> 逃避方式 </strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="justify-content: flex-start;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 15px;height: 15px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">有一种孩子，不管家长说什么，都有本事说到别的地方。</span></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 100%;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 6px;border-style: solid;border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);padding: 10px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 15px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 1.8;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 走路别蹭着走。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 这有啥，鞋不就走路用的嘛，我去写作业了，别打扰我。</span></p></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 15px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 1.8;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 你看，这道题刚讲过又做错了。</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- 知道了，我会了，刚才是粗心。我要做语文作业了，要不该写不完了。</span></p></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">孩子为什么习惯性岔开话题？其实，从心理学上来说，<strong>打岔就是一种逃避沟通的行为</strong>。<span style="text-indent: 2em;">这样的应对方式，看似能避开和家长的争吵，却也等同于关闭心门。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="text-indent: 2em;font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">孩子听不进家长的话，更不会说出自己的想法，于是，原本双向的沟通变成了单车道。长期来看，亲子距离感不断加深，很难产生真正的理解和认同。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="text-align: left;justify-content: flex-start;margin: 10px 0%;display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="text-align: right;justify-content: flex-end;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 22px;height: 22px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;align-self: flex-end;"><section style="text-align: justify;color: rgb(127, 127, 127);font-size: 18px;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong> 讨好方式 </strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;line-height: 0;"><section style="justify-content: flex-start;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 15px;height: 15px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">还有一种孩子，会在与父母反复争吵后学会变成“讨好的孩子”。他们会看家长的脸色，揣摩家长的心思，隐藏起自己的真实想法。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">这样的孩子，表面上看是顺从了他人，避免了争吵，但其实，这也是一种逃避沟通、回避问题的做法。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-bottom: 25px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">不过，孩子对抗争吵的方式往往并不单一的，常见的是采用“指责+逃避”“<span style="text-indent: 2em;">逃避+讨好”等多种结合的方式。</span></span></p></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0% 5px;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 8 8 0%;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;height: auto;line-height: 1;margin-right: -17px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(62, 62, 62) rgb(181, 150, 238);overflow: hidden;flex: 0 0 auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;height: auto;z-index: 1;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: -10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size: 41px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 2px;text-shadow: rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px 1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px 1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) 0px -1.4px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px -1px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1.4px 0px, rgb(150, 26, 51) -1px 1px;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><em><strong>04</strong></em></span></p></section></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 8 8 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.24);border-bottom-right-radius: 0px;margin-left: -16px;line-height: 1;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 10px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="text-align: center;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 20px;letter-spacing: 2px;line-height: 2;"><section style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 16px;"><strong>学会吵架，是一种能力</strong></span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 15px;"><br></p><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="text-indent: 2em;font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">无论孩子采用哪一种方式，都是在试图躲避伤害。在他们的心中，他们真正渴望的，从来都是那种温馨和谐的，可以自由交流的氛围。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">其实，吵架是一把双刃剑，<span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);"><strong>亲子关系中的父母和孩子，究竟是“越吵越亲密”还是“越吵越冷漠”，取决于我们会不会进行一场成熟的吵架。</strong></span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">真正成熟的吵架，一定是从讲情到讲理，是先有情再有理的。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>良好的争吵，对父母是一种情感释放；对孩子来说，也是一次成长。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 100%;border-width: 0px 0px 0px 6px;border-style: solid;border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204);padding: 10px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 15px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="color: rgb(117, 117, 117);line-height: 2;padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">弗吉尼亚大学曾经做过一项研究，让150个13岁的孩子描述他们和父母之间的矛盾，研究表明，<strong>在家跟父母经常争吵但能保持冷静的孩子，更能轻松应对外界的意见和分歧</strong>。</span></p></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1.5px;">争执能帮助孩子变得自信和独立。</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1.5px;">在对抗中，他们感觉到自己受到重视，知</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1.5px;">道怎样才能贯彻自己的意志。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">成熟的吵架，都会经历 <strong><span style="background-color: rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.04);">“情绪的爆发—情绪的控制—问题的沟通—事后的修复”</span></strong><span style="background-color: rgba(150, 26, 51, 0.04);"> </span>这样一个良性循环，一般要经过三个步骤：</span></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0%;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 2 2 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;"><section style="text-align: right;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 23px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><strong><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 20px;">1</span></strong></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;"><section style="color: rgb(226, 226, 226);font-size: 13px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;padding-right: 2px;padding-left: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">●</span></strong></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;"><section style="padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);letter-spacing: 2px;line-height: 1.2;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">控制情绪</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 100 100 0%;padding-left: 3px;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 4px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="background-color: rgb(240, 240, 240);height: 1px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-top: 25px;margin-right: 0%;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">很多吵架，都是从一点小事开始，之后越吵越凶。成熟的争吵，一定是建立在平和的情绪的基础上。因此，当情绪难以控制时，我们不妨及时按下暂停键，让自己转移一下注意力，做一些其他的事。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>父母情绪的及时“退出”，是为了避免战斗的升级，而且没有了对手，孩子的“抗拒”也失去了意义。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">和孩子发生争吵时，有的家长若吵不过孩子，或者觉得理亏，就会使出杀手锏——我是你爸/妈，言外之意，你是我孩子，必须听我的。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">用家长的权威压制孩子，要么会激起孩子更强烈的反抗，做出不理智的行为，要么会让孩子产生蔑视心理，拒绝深入交流，这都不是家长想要的结果。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>争吵并不是完全的情绪输出，更不是单方的情绪压制</strong>，而是为了倾听对方的声音，争吵之后要进行反思，求同存异，共同成长，这才是我们与孩子争吵的最终目的。</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0%;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 2 2 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;"><section style="text-align: right;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 23px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 20px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 20px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">2</span></strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;"><section style="color: rgb(226, 226, 226);font-size: 13px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;padding-right: 2px;padding-left: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">●</span></strong></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;"><section style="padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);letter-spacing: 2px;line-height: 1.2;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">就事论事</span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 100 100 0%;padding-left: 3px;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 4px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="background-color: rgb(240, 240, 240);height: 1px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-top: 25px;margin-right: 0%;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">要记住，我们的争吵只是针对于事情本身，争吵的目的也是要孩子明白对错，修正行为，并且找出解决的方式。因此，<strong>不要在争吵中掺杂其他的情感，更不能给孩子贴标签，甚至进行人身攻击。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">比如，孩子做作业太粗心，三道计算题错了两个，我们只要批评他这次作业太粗心了即可，如果说：“你这孩子怎么总是忌吃不记打啊？”这就是人身攻击了。<br></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">翻旧账也是常犯的错误。孩子弄洒了一杯牛奶，爸爸怒斥孩子做事不着调、读书不认真、和人见面不打招呼等等。<span style="text-indent: 2em;">这看似风马牛不相及的事情，却在生活中屡屡出现，这会让孩子觉得自己一无是处，做什么都不行。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">争吵是解决当下的问题，一次争吵不能解决所有的问题，翻旧账的结果会让我们忘记了因为什么而争吵，只是单纯地发泄情绪，情绪发泄完了，事情却没有解决，周而复始，才是最伤害亲子感情的。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><section style="display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;margin: 10px 0%;"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;flex: 2 2 0%;align-self: flex-end;height: auto;"><section style="text-align: right;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 23px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 20px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 20px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">3</span></strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 0 0 0%;height: auto;"><section style="color: rgb(226, 226, 226);font-size: 13px;line-height: 1;letter-spacing: 0px;padding-right: 2px;padding-left: 2px;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">●</span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;min-width: 10%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;"><section style="padding-right: 4px;padding-left: 4px;color: rgb(150, 26, 51);letter-spacing: 2px;line-height: 1.2;" powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>事后修补</strong></span></p></section></section><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: bottom;width: auto;align-self: flex-end;flex: 100 100 0%;padding-left: 3px;"><section style="margin-right: 0%;margin-bottom: 4px;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="background-color: rgb(240, 240, 240);height: 1px;"><section><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float: left;line-height: 0;width: 0px;vertical-align: top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-top: 25px;margin-right: 0%;margin-left: 0%;" powered-by="135编辑器"><section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">在每一次吵架之后，父母的真诚道歉可以缓和孩子的情绪，同时也告诉孩子：虽然刚才我们失控了，但是一切都在安全范围内，刚才的争吵是为了释放情绪，解决问题，并不影响我们之间的关系。<br></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">若再加一声“我爱你”，便能以爱为底色重新架起亲子之间的一座心桥，让彼此都能达到对方的内心，未来父母也能更容易知晓孩子的想法，洞悉孩子的感受。</span></section></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section style="text-align: center;margin: 10px 8px;text-indent: 0em;"><section style="vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;"><p style="line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;"><span></span></p></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="text-indent: 2em;font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">天下没有不争吵的家庭，也没有不争吵的亲子关系。<br></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">就像《孩子：挑战》的作者鲁道夫·德雷克斯说的那样：<span style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><strong>应对挑战的核心是成为孩子的合作者。</strong></span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">既然争吵无法回避，那么成为孩子争吵中的合作者，或许才是最好的方式。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">与其一味的回避争吵，压抑自己的情感，不如说出自己的想法，积极面对与孩子之间的争吵。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>好好说话，好好吵架，好好修补，在真实、流动的情感中，给孩子搭建起最踏实最温暖的心灵家园。</strong></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><br></section><section style="white-space: normal;line-height: 1.75em;letter-spacing: 1.5px;text-indent: 0em;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><span style="color: rgb(150, 26, 51);font-size: 15px;font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><strong>同时，也请好好地珍惜那个与你争吵的孩子，因为，这意味着，他们真的长大了。</strong></span><span style="text-align: center;"></span></section></section><section powered-by="135编辑器"><p style="white-space: normal;"><br></p></section><p style="text-align: left;"><br></p></section><p style="white-space: normal;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;line-height: normal;text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 12px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;">部分素材来源：萨提亚育儿 暖暖妈爱分享 沛泽妈读心理 人民网 </span></p><p style="white-space: normal;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;line-height: normal;text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 12px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;">责任编辑 | 谢玉萍</span></p><p style="white-space: normal;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-family: Optima-Regular, PingFangTC-light;line-height: normal;text-align: center;"><br></p><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><img class="rich_pages 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