什么样的家庭容易养出自卑的孩子？这些底线不该碰
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><section style="margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 15px;"><br></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="padding-right: 20px; padding-left: 20px; box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">前几天热搜上看到一个话题：</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>从小就自卑的孩子，过着什么样的生活？</strong></p><section style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">有一位17岁高中女生的高赞回答：</section><section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="88283" style="border-width: 0px; border-style: none; border-color: initial;"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;width: 100%;"><section style="margin-left: auto;width: 2.12em;height: 2.12em;"><section style="margin-top: -1px;margin-left: auto;width: 1.5em;height: 1.5em;border-right: 1px solid rgb(152, 152, 152);border-top: 1px solid rgb(152, 152, 152);"><br></section></section><section style="margin: -0.5em 1.25em -0.5em 1em;"><section data-autoskip="true" style="padding-right: 20px;padding-left: 20px;line-height: 2;text-align: center;"><section style="color: rgb(74, 96, 101); font-size: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">从来不，或很少拒绝别人；<span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span></span></section><p style="color: rgb(74, 96, 101); font-size: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">从来不敢惹事儿，被惹了也很好被打发；<span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span></span></p><p style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color:#888888;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">从来不敢张扬，特别害怕别人的关注；</span></span></p><p style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color:#888888;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">不敢从容的与人沟通，更别说据理力争了，但凡对方强势，我让步便是；<span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span><span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span></span></span></p><p style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color:#888888;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">不敢争取，哪怕有机会、有实力，也因为不敢开口无法出头，只能做打下手的辅助工作；<span style="display: none;line-height: 0px;"></span></span></span></p><section style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color:#888888;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">跟朋友和男朋友相处，愿意默默付出许多，宁愿被辜负，也不愿对方对自己失望。</span></span></section></section></section><section style="width: 2.25em;height: 2.25em;border-left: 1px solid rgb(152, 152, 152);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(152, 152, 152);"><br></section></section></section></section><section style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">每一句都看的心扎扎地疼。</section><section style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">做父母的，可太怕养出一个这样的孩子了……</section><section style="-webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">其实，说到自卑，每个人都多多少少会有点，适度的自卑会让人察觉不足，更全面的认识自己和进步，但过度的自卑，会成为一个人一生进步的阻碍和痛苦。<br></section><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">无论是孩子，还是成人，自卑的心总是形单影只，游走在崩溃的边缘。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">没有人天生自卑，但却有几种家庭，更容易养出自卑的孩子。</p><section><section><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;"><section style="display: inline-block;"><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center;"><section style="background-color: rgb(255,138,92);padding: 5px 10px;"><p style="min-width:1px;color: rgb(248,248,255);">01</p></section><section style="margin-left:5px;"><section><p style="letter-spacing: 3px;min-width:1px;font-size: 17px;color: rgb(255,138,92);font-weight:bold;"><strong><span style="font-family: Noto Sans CJK SC, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Apple Color Emoji, Emoji Symbols Font, Segoe UI Symbol, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;text-align: justify;">喜欢打击、否定孩子</span></strong></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">曾有人提问：被父母骂得不想活了是种什么体验？</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">有网友回答说：</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">在我伤心难过得哭到虚脱的时候，父母却看着我说“发什么神经”，除了绝望不知道怎么形容。</span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">父母的差评，永远是打在孩子心里的一记重拳。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">心理学上有个概念叫做「<span style="color: rgb(255, 138, 92);">镜映客体需要」</span>，是指孩子在成长过程中，尤其是当孩子展现某些特质时，需要有人给予肯定，令他获得自我价值感。</p><section><blockquote data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="62" data-source-title="" data-text="“吐了，新环境真的难适应，我这内向的性格真烦。也不能全怪性格吧，毕竟自己就是这样一个人，可以通过写东西来缓解一下这份心情”。" data-editid="a829xqtg6io0000000" style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-top: 4px; outline: 0px; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); font-size: 15px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", ";P<br><section style="outline: 0px;"><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">比如，当孩子成功自己系上衣服的扣子，兴致勃勃地向父母展现自己的新技能；</span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">比如，当孩子连贯地弹出一首新曲子，兴高采烈地向父母展示自己的进步；</span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">比如，当孩子发现了一个新奇的东西，兴奋不已地向父母分享发现时。</span></p></section></blockquote></section><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">这都是孩子在向父母寻求镜映客体的需要。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">如果此时，你忽视、不接纳，甚至否定孩子的需求，会让孩子变得愤怒，然后羞愧，越来越自卑。</p><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">你看你又系错了；</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">还是断了啊，赶紧再多练几遍；</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">别乱捡地上的东西，多脏呀。</span></p></li></ul><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">没有获得父母足够肯定的孩子，一生都在寻找这种肯定。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">在他人面前会感觉不自在，会很在意外界的眼光和评价。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width:auto !important;max-width:100% !important;height:auto !important;"></span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">但如果，父母可以耐心的聆听，发挥镜映客体的功能，映射并接纳孩子的真实模样，去稳稳的接住孩子的各种情绪。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">看见并回应他们的内心需求，并不吝啬地给予肯定、赞扬，</p><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="list-style-type: square;"><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">耶，你自己能系扣子啦，真厉害！</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">刚刚那首曲子那么难，你都能连贯的弹完，厉害！</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">刚刚你自己玩了半小时都没有找爸爸妈妈，你专心干自己的事情简直太酷了。</span></p></li></ul><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>孩子则会从父母的接纳、肯定中获得自我价值感，从而变得更加自信和坚定。</strong></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">这便是大多数人最初的自信和底气。</p><section><section><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;"><section style="display: inline-block;"><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: flex;justify-content: center;align-items: center;"><section style="padding: 5px 10px;background-color: rgb(255, 138, 92);"><p style="min-width: 1px;color: rgb(248, 248, 255);">02</p></section><section style="margin-left: 5px;"><section><p style="letter-spacing: 3px;min-width: 1px;color: rgb(255, 138, 92);font-weight: bold;"><strong><span style="font-family: Noto Sans CJK SC, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Apple Color Emoji, Emoji Symbols Font, Segoe UI Symbol, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;text-align: justify;">过分夸大自己的不容易</span></strong></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">什么样的家庭里，孩子活得最小心翼翼？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>一定是父母“不好惹“的家庭。</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">这里的不好惹，除了最显而易见的暴躁严厉、情绪不稳定、严厉高要求，还有一个很隐秘的，便是道德绑架——<strong>重复自己的付出、夸大自己的不</strong><strong>容易</strong>。</p><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;-webkit-user-drag: none;font-family: Noto Sans CJK SC, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Apple Color Emoji, Emoji Symbols Font, Segoe UI Symbol, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;text-align: justify;letter-spacing: 1px;line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 13px;">你看不到爸爸妈妈都很累吗？</span></p></li><li><p style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;-webkit-user-drag: none;font-family: Noto Sans CJK SC, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Apple Color Emoji, Emoji Symbols Font, Segoe UI Symbol, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;text-align: justify;letter-spacing: 1px;line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 13px;">我们起早贪黑、辛苦挣钱都是为了谁？</span></p></li></ul><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">长久这样，孩子会觉得欠你的，活着感觉是在还债。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">父母不是父母，是恩人、是债主，他能不小心翼翼吗？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">犯了错、闯了祸、做得不够好、没让你满意，他能不愧疚、自责吗？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">小时候可能仅仅是觉得对不起你，等孩子更大、等懂事一些，还会让孩子产生危机感。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>因为他会感觉父母没有经营好一个家庭的能力！</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">父母连自己都艰难，怎么可能有本事跟外界抗衡呢？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">所以与人相处，他便不敢闯祸、不敢冒险、不敢惹别人，害怕没有人能给ta兜底。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width:auto !important;max-width:100% !important;height:auto !important;"></span></p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">为什么很多霸凌的孩子都是自卑、唯唯诺诺的性格，而且被欺负，不敢告诉父母？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>因为父母从小就没有给孩子“能扛事儿”的信赖感，这些孩子从本质上就不相信，父母有能力搞定这一切。</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">成年人当然都很累，谁不希望孩子能无条件配合我们的节奏呢？</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">但一定要记住，我们的累，不是孩子造成的。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">是我们不甘于现在的生活，是我们想要更多的结果，是我们一厢情愿希望孩子能像个机器人一样，按部就班地完成每一个环节。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">如果你实在觉得自己就是委屈、就是付出的多，得不到对等的回报。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">那我们应该做的，不是改变孩子，而是降低自己的期待。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">当然了，其实说这些，我自己也做不到完全不抱怨，成年人也是人，不是机器啊。</p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;">所以<strong>抱怨可以有，但我们一定要有一份察觉，尽量找到更妥当的发泄和表达方式。</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width:auto !important;max-width:100% !important;height:auto !important;"></span></strong></p><section><section><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;"><section style="display: inline-block;"><section style="margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;"><section style="display: flex;justify-content:center;align-items:center;"><section style="background-color: rgb(255,138,92);padding: 5px 10px;"><p style="min-width:1px;color: rgb(248,248,255);">03</p></section><section style="margin-left:5px;"><section><p style="letter-spacing: 3px;min-width:1px;font-size: 17px;color: rgb(255,138,92);font-weight:bold;"><strong><span style="font-family: Noto Sans CJK SC, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei, Apple Color Emoji, Emoji Symbols Font, Segoe UI Symbol, Arial, sans-serif;font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;text-align: justify;">要求孩子懂事</span></strong></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">我们小区有个奶奶，经常向我们夸赞孙女甜甜懂事。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">8岁不到的孩子，经常照顾弟弟，一带就是大半天。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">穿衣服、上厕所、喂吃的、哄着玩，有好吃的好玩的，第一反应都是先让给弟弟，比大人都做的好。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">甜甜我在小区也见过，奶奶确实没有夸大，长姐如母，说的大概就是这孩子了。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>同样8岁，有时候看着人家的老大那么懂事，再看我家姐姐：</strong></p><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">时而抱怨，“妈妈，我现在想跟我朋友单独玩，不想让DD一起，你能带走他一会儿吗？”</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">时而大喊，“DD！这是我好不容易搭好的，你不能给我毁了！再破坏就不许你靠近！”</span></p></li></ul><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">说实话，不羡慕是假的。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">可，每每看到甜甜明明也想跟朋友玩，却为了照顾弟弟不得不放弃；明明也很喜欢的玩具，但只要弟弟出手一定会出让的小心。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">我剩下的只有心疼了。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 138, 92);"><strong>从心理学的角度来看，过多懂事的本质是一种压抑，隐藏自己真实的需求来迎合别人。</strong></span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">如果可以选择，没有人愿意懂事。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">在家能迁就弟弟，固然是好，但是这<strong>种必然也会从家庭之内、延续到家庭之外。</strong></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">她在校也会为了合群而讨好朋友、工作会为了被<span style="font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">肯定、</span>认同而迁就同事，婚姻中也会为了维持关系步步忍让。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">因为，不确信自己是不是值得被爱，所以在任何关系中都很容易处于不安的状态，总是习惯性的讨好和退让。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width:auto !important;max-width:100% !important;height:auto !important;"></span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">养育2个孩子8年多，我最怕的就是他们有一天变得听话、乖巧、懂事。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">哪怕像CC这样一个高自尊、高敏感、高需求的孩子，在她作妖不配合时，我也从来没说过她“不乖”。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">为什么？</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">因为，我知道那意味着什么。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(255, 138, 92);">意味着“我的感受不重要，我要放弃自己的权益和需求，去做让别人高兴的事情，我才能被喜欢”。</span></strong></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">大人们想要的「乖」，更像是一种驯服，一种情感绑架。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">尤其是多子女家庭啊，千万不要总在几个孩子之间比较：</p><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">你看看弟弟\妹妹多乖，哪跟你似的这么轴;</span></p></li><li><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);font-size: 14px;">你怎么这么懒，你看哥哥\姐姐早就能帮家里干活了，你就不知道懂事一点。</span></p></li></ul><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">无论你<span style="font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">是</span>有心还是无意，公开比较孩子，或用任何方式表达一个孩子是榜样，都会让另外的孩子形成无望感。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">而孩子是多么敏感的生物呀。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><strong>只有被爱，被宠着，ta才敢任性，才敢撒娇，才敢说不。</strong></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">《弗洛伊德的使命》里有一句话：</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><em>一个无可置疑地深受父母宠爱的人，会终生保持胜利者的感觉，而这种成功的信念，会导致他这一生，都能不断地获得成功。</em></span></p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">自信的孩子，往往积极、乐观，不怕失败，不在乎流言，内心永远具有向上的力量，所以这样的孩子更容易成功。</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;">而自卑的孩子，就像永远不被光照到的阴暗，低到尘埃里，踌躇不前，又怕影响别人，活的太累，太苦……</p><p style="user-select: text; -webkit-user-drag: none; font-family: "Noto Sans CJK SC", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Apple Color Emoji", "Emoji Symbols Font", "Segoe UI Symbol", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; line-height: 1.75em;"><br></p></section></section>转载声明：本文转载自「CC爸妈」，搜索「cc-bama」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/xOZZ_JJj-SVELW1tUDajGA">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p> 1. 忽视孩子的情感需求和成就感：家长对孩子的情感和成就缺乏肯定和支持，甚至经常忽视孩子的表现和努力。2. 手段过激的惩罚：家长在对孩子进行惩罚时，最好要选择适当的方式，不过度使用口头威胁、身体想要伤害孩子的方式。
3. 不尊重孩子的人格：家长不应该只是把孩子当作“工具”来满足自己的需求，而应该尊重他们的人格，并且充分地表达对孩子的爱和关心，以建立良好的亲子关系。
4. 复杂的家庭生活：一些家庭因为各种原因会产生家庭纷争或复杂的家庭生活条件，这会让孩子感到精神上的不稳定，容易造成情绪波动和自卑感。
5. 学习成绩太过关注：如果家长过于强调学习成绩，让孩子觉得“考试是目的，学习只是手段”，那么孩子容易因为考试成绩不理想而感到自卑。总之，家长要注意言行举止，树立良好的家庭氛围，注重孩子的情感需求和成就感，才能帮助孩子健康成长。
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